[Blog (Non-channeled) May 2010]

After skating along this past week high above the clouds on the love and well-wishes of so many (and also judicious use of pain medication), yesterday I found myself falling. Off balance. At loose ends. And uncomfortable.

Not only did this 3-inch hole in my foot begin to REALLY HURT, just when my linear mind thought it ought to stop hurting, but I lost my balance entirely. Oh, it’s more than a metaphor. This pain makes me a total wuss and even though I am allowed to take baby steps on my toes aided by my new friend Cane, I didn’t want to. It hurt. And I realized how housebound I am. Can’t take the trash to the curb. Can’t water the flowers out front. Can just get from bedroom to kitchen to living room and back again, circling round the same triangle all day as little as possible, hopping on one leg.

There is a metaphor here somewhere.

Off balance. And not liking it.

Having developed enough presence and self trust to know a gift when it appears on my doorstep, I was able to truly listen to the wise words of a friend yesterday evening. I felt my inner tension slipping away as she spoke, and my inner resolve strengthening. I have gotten by using my will in this life. It is time stop trying to make things happen and to instead step even more into the flow.

I thought I did that already! An inner part wailed. No matter. Just step again. Into the flow.

The first thing I did after talking to my friend was to clear my energy. I know by now to do this whenever things don’t feel quite right, but somehow I had missed the signal. An easy quick method of self-clearing is with a pendulum. Mine is made of amethyst, but they can be made of anything. (When I was 12 I made one from a stone and a string.)

Pendulum Clearing

If your pendulum is new to you, you’ll want to work with it a while to become attuned to one another. Start by asking it to show you a “yes” answer. Then ask for a “no” answer. Don’t rush this. If at any time you feel things aren’t quite right, ask again. If your pendulum is made from a gemstone, you might clear it first with some selenium, placing it in moonlight, or any other gem-clearing method you like.

Continue getting to know your pendulum by next asking it to show you what it does for energy clearing. Ask again to show you what giving or adding energy looks like. At this point you should have four different, clear motions. Keep practicing by asking your pendulum some questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Try not to confuse things with multiple-part questions, and be sure to allow plenty of time.

Now you can use your pendulum for quick clearing whenever you need to. I ask mine to clear me of “non-beneficial” energies, and I feel an emotion tied to what I had been holding as I allow the energy to release.

After the pendulum I worked a bit with some different crystals, allowing them to speak to me. I could feel the Earth connection through them and I felt my energy shift.

Next I went on a shamanic journey, not really looking for clarity but instead asking for assistance in supporting a shift toward my next step. In the journey, all my totem animals appeared and removed the foot that had the surgery and then burned it, asking me to taste the ashes. (I love their sense of the absurd!)

Then I took some flower essences, combinations that assist and support healing and a sense of connection. It’s funny – every time I convince myself I don’t need some sort of support anymore, I prove myself wrong. We all need support, not because we are inherently incapable or weak but because receiving support honors our fundamental connection to the planet and to one another.

The last thing I did was to gratefully get into bed, allowing time for reading and simply Be-ing before sleep.

Today, as you can imagine, was much better even though my pain increased significantly and the other “problems” I had yesterday were still there.

But I had found my balance again. Even on one foot.

[Note: I am back to work and am scheduling sessions. Taking things slowly for now and will continue to make adjustments over time, but it's good to be back.]